Together

"How good and pleasant it is when the Lord's people live together in unity!" Psalm 133:1
As I've mentioned in probably more than one previous post, this past semester I switched from a large public school to a small Christian school.  There are an innumerable amount of differences between the two schools but I think I can safely say that I am finally adjusted to my new school.  I'm adjusted, but I wouldn't say I fit in.  I'm not even sure if there is even anything to "fit in" to at my school, with only around twenty students in each grade, there is plenty of room for us to be individuals.  God says many times in the bible that his people receive different spiritual gifts and talents, and for me, it is easy to get caught up in the fact that we are different from one another.  Often times, I get so caught up in the differences that I overlook the similarities I have with my brothers and sisters in Christ.  We have all decided to follow Jesus, to define our lives by the truth of His word, and yet we bicker with eachother frequently.  My heart turns bitter towards other people faster than I notice-and this is just what the enemy wants! 

It is pleasing to God when His people live together in unity!  Seems like a simple concept, right?  It takes complacency and bitterness to turn our hearts from one another, but perseverance and love to knit our hearts close.  God wishes us to experience His love as a community of beleivers!  But I am the worst at this-I find myself seperating people in my head, atheltes and non athletes, mature people and immature people, open minded people and close minded people, public school kids and private school kids so on and so forth.  This is messed up.  I'm to see my sisters and brothers in Christ as just that-brothers and sisters, that I am equal to, that make up a family of believers.  Regardless of what I think of someone, God demands me to show love, no exceptions. 

"I'ma sip until I feel it, I'ma smoke until its gone, I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young."-Drake.

I see this on my twitter timeline ALL the time.  I even used to tweet it! I miss the feelings and the glamour of my old life. I get caught up in reminiscing about the past.  But why? After all, when I'm trying to explain rumors people hear, I usually say, "I have a bad past."  So why do I miss the BAD?!  Because I forget how the past felt during the lows.  I only remember being the girl at the party with everyone laughing at the jokes I make, the one the guys wanted to get with, the one the other girls wanted to be friends with.  I miss the FEELINGS my old lifestyle gave me.  The problem is, I skim over memories of the nights I spent crying myself to sleep out of misery.  And in all honesty, these nights were much more common than the ones that I felt on top of the world. I realized I'm only fond of my past when I do not understand where it was leading me.  About wicked people Psalm 73 says,"Until I went into the sanctuary of God:  Then I understood their end."(Psalm 73:17)  This verse hit me hard, I need to be in the sanctuary of God to remember where I was headed. God says about about the person I used to be, "Behold, these are the ungodly, who are always at ease."(Psalm 73:12)  If I'm at ease with my bad decisions, I am ungodly and will surely bring myself deeper into ruin each day. 

 I miss the past only because I've forgotten the depths of pain it sent me into.  My flesh and my heart tell me I deserve to feel wanted, that I deserve to feel important, that I deserve to have no consequences for what I do.  I don't deserve anything, but I do have the merciful love of God.  Society today tells us that we can make whatever choices we so wish and that as long as we FEEL good about it, it's okay.  When I am not walking with God I find it hard to remember the heartbreaking realities of my old life. "My flesh and my heart fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion of EVER!"(Psalm 73:26). Regardless of how we feel God is with us, "I was so foolish and ignorant. . .Nevertheless you hold me by my right hand."(Psalm 73:22-23).  What a wake up call Psalm 73 was to me today!  As a Christian we are called to actively care about our decisions, we are called to spend time with God, we are called to be led by truth instead of emotion.  God holds us by our right hand. . .take advantage of it, instead of buying into the apathy of society. 

"Do you want to get well?"

When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him,
“Do you want to get well?” 
At youth group the other night we were reading John 5, specifically the story of Jesus healing a crippled man.  Upon approaching the man Jesus asks the man if he would like to be healed.  I was sitting there thinking, "DUH He does Jesus!". Later on I was beginning to ponder this question, if Jesus is God, and they are both all-knowing, then why does he even ask this question?  I began to search my own heart and noticed that I hide a lot from God.  For example, I've lately been dealing with the fact that I have feelings for someone.  I know that I am not in a place in my walk with the Lord where I believe I can have a Christian relationship, yet I continue to carry these feelings around in my heart.  I enjoy my own pain.  Instead of surrendering this to God and allowing him to deal with it, I cripple myself.  I'm holding onto the pain, putting my hope in the wrong places-and God made me for more than that.  He has the power to make me well-to heal me and make me new, which is a DAILY process.  I need to allow God to be my hope and refuge always, for only He knows every single thing about me and loves me regardless.

Morning Madness. . .Literally

     Garumph! This is the noise I usually make when I have to crawl out of bed in the morning.  To put it delicately, I am not a morning person.  I simply wake up mad most days.  Even when I get a good eight hours of sleep (which is very rare for me), getting ready and leaving my house in the morning takes a lot of self discipline and motivation for me.  I like to think of myself as a generally disciplined person, as most athletes do.  I also consider myself to be a generally happy person. . .but I often let the mornings get the best of me. . . or is it the worst?  Halfway through my morning routine I remembered how I used to pray every morning.  Rinsing off my face and brushing my teeth, these used to be times I would be saying the same silent prayer I said every morning, "Dear God, please give me the energy and kindness I need for the day, and the boldness to share your love with others in every way possible."

     Somewhere in my transition from a huge public school to a teeeeeny tiny Christian school, my morning prayers took a hit. With that realized, I made a mental note to get back into the swing of things and kick my morning irritability to the curb.  One of my favorite things to remind myself is, "We do not have the luxury of making ourselves the victims of our own decisions." How true is this in a world of people unable to take responsibility for themselves?  Here comes my daily battle. . . standing in front of the bathroom mirror and humbling myself enough to realize God can take away my morning maliciousness and replace it with a peaceful and loving attitude.  It's easy for me to realize that God is stronger than the big things out there, hate, discrimination, heartbreak, etc. but it's easy for me to forget that God is stronger than my bad attitude.  So I prayed this morning, and God carried me through the day.  My heart was in the right place, and all I had to do was be humble enough to ask for an attitude adjustment.  Our God DELIVERS! Praise the Lord.

Bless Your Heart

"Bless Your Heart"
A phrase that never fails to send my mind into memories of a summer I spent in North Carolina drinking sweet tea with an old family friend. "Bless your heart". At a girls bible study tonight I realized that this phrase is used ALL the time in the south, and in the oddest of circumstances.  I secretly suspect the southerners use this phrase to avoid awkward moments in conversations.  However, this phrase is interesting to me.  To bless means to express care for something. . . so why do we go around "blessing" stranger's hearts? The truth is why don't we ACT on it when we feel someone needs a helping hand instead of dismissing the .. ."I broke my arm two days ago rescuing baby koalas" with an apathetic "Bless your heart".   As a Christian I find it worthwhile and important to actually make things happen instead of just meaning well, so next time your neighbor is telling you how their arm is broken from rescuing baby koalas, please carry their groceries inside for them!  God is constantly giving us opportunities to share His love with other people!  After all, the best leaders are servants.  I challenge you to start demonstrating love as an action, instead of stumbling through life "meaning well".
Romans 13:8
 "for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law."